lomi ciento cinco!

prequel

before reading this entry i'd suggest you check "lomi cuarenta y cinco!" , an entry i wrote back in 2009 (wow! that's about 12 years ago!), to give you a bit of a background. either way, whether or not you'd spend time to read it, this entry can stand on its own.

lomi cuarenta y cinco

 it was in new china restaurant when i talked about their lomi and how the place and their has become a part of naga city's history, still being part of what we are today and the consistency of that taste. you might want to try it, but i have to say it has changed, probably a different cook or a different recipe (not just their lomi but also chopsuey rice and their pancit)

lomi ciento cinco

earlier this afternoon, like in the past months, i found a "new" place where i can get this comfort food, the place isn't famous for its lomi, it's recognized for its toasted siopao and mami. about a year ago, at the height of the pandemic, i frequently went to the place to order lomi, and it tasted the same with the cuarenta y cinco only it was ciento cinco (and if am right, the original cuarenta y cinco price in new china is around noventa this time). i'm not surprised, that's 12 years worth of inflation, time only pushes price upwards. naga garden's the name of the place, it's along panganiban drive. it may not be as old as new china but it's also a go-to place for people doing business in centro naga. when i was still in high school, we'd pass by the restaurant whenever we visit the Naga's Public Library found at the 2nd floor of the building at the corner, just across Plaza Rizal. sometimes my father would order pancit and siopao for merienda. it was filling. 

except for the health protocols like wearing one's face mask and going through the thermal scan and spraying of hand sanitizer, the taste of their food remains the same. the place still gives that air of that time when we didn't have this pandemic. the city were i grew up. the city i have always loved. there's a certain degree of excitement in that moment when one would have to remove his/her mask to enjoy the food, to dine. to converse with their companions.  clarity perhaps. gives that sense of security that everything shall be well, we just don't know when. thanks to places like this one, thanks to the consolation it brings amid chaos and uncontrollable forces. 

Life After Covid 19 and the New Normal

Currently planning for the "new normal". It has been more than a month since the government implemented ECQ in Luzon and I have been reflecting on the implications and impact of this unexpected pandemic. What's the "new normal" after the "new normal" anyway? hehe.
I came up with a list of the things I'd do when we begin with the "new normal" which drawing near:

1. Plant more and grow more food to be less dependent on the market and minimize the effects of price fluctuations. A pot of edible plant goes a long way.
2. Responsible consumption. Scarcity will always be a fact of life and a throw-away culture is making the reality more observable today. I'll try to take and/or purchase what is enough and what is needed.
3. Read and write more. These are activities which could strengthen our mental fiber and thinking skills. I'd like to devote more time for these things on a daily basis.
4. Appreciate more and criticize less. These days I have learned to be more appreciative even of the small and trivial things. Having something to eat and having things to grow, the passing of day, the afternoon rain, conversations with the neighbors.
5. Work less to live more. Covid 19 is partly sending a message that time is life and life is time, how we spend it is how we live it. Cheers!

Creating Silence

While sorting some donated books for the library earlier, I was reflecting on the owner whom I have not personally met, he left this world more than two years ago, he was a known music teacher and a musician in a university. The books, as expected are mostly music related, there were  DIY's, textbooks and spiritual literature.  The music teacher has a rich collection of books and about a hundred of them were donated by a friend who owns a cafe. Prior to the cafe, it was the music teacher's home. Going through those books on a warm afternoon instead of having siesta and the familiar Holy Thursday feels, it was like an instant recollection. As I see it, recollection is when one ceases a bit, looks at what has been and check how things are going and resolves to act on what needs to be done. This leads to the fruit of recollection. And similarly as with plants, they grow and bear fruit. There's one element which can be observed in both recollection and growing plants. Yes, it's silence. Today's world offers a lot, name it, the world has it. Today's world has also made life cacophonous, making us forget the greater things. Distractions have made us distant to what really matters. We need silence more than ever. As the contemplatives would put it, "silence creates space for what is spiritual". Creating silence is not hollow or meaningless, it is creating space for what comprises life itself.

Some things will remain, will never grow trite and will come handy in times when we need it most.

Let's create silence. Let's listen more often. Let's create space for what truly matters

Life is Good. (2018 Year-end Reflection)

A Ten-year Old Blog.

Thoughts (ernestpensees) turns 10 today. When blogging was at its peak in 2007, I decided to create my own, here on blogspot. This blog started with the aim of sharing my philosophical and political views. In a span of ten years, I posted 74 entries, had to be inactive from time to time to focus on work and other urgent matters. The end of the year is quite near and I’d like to share a bit about how my year went, life realizations and lessons we could somehow all learn from.

Plans and Investments.

Late 2017, I invested a big sum of money along with six others, we were all very excited to venture, it was a food park. We had strong plans and we believed we could turn them into reality. And so we did. From site development, legalities and construction, we were aimed at becoming successful in the food industry. At first it went well, since it was new, then bigger problems arose leading to poor sales.  We had solutions and remedies. We did what we could. Last September, we decided to shut down due to lack of finances. It was a big loss on our part, especially mine, I was there most of the time, I was there when it was time to accept our failure.

Losing.

Decisions have to be made, sometimes very quickly. Years’ worth of savings gone in just a few months. While running the business, I had to choose between stopping to shell out money to continue further and the fact that if I did so, our workers would lose their jobs, their source of income. I had to choose the former option despite the losses we’ve incurred, until such time when there was almost none left. It was an illogical move, as people would see it, but having been through this before, I believe I made the best decision.  Contrary to how other people would normally react, failing was not that hard to accept. Stopping after such failure was never an option. I am currently recovering my finances, I may be quite far from reaching that amount but I have to move. It’s just money. It’s something we could earn through time and effort. Losing a big amount of money also lead me to look at the bigger things, things which go beyond big spending and big losses. Losing which leads to life-long gains. Things of greater value like the people who were always there along the way, learning, striving, trying and choosing to continue. The experience was like taking a master’s degree again but more of the practical, hands-on curriculum with no books and nothing academic at all.

Wisdom.

            2018 has been a fruitful year for me. I surpassed bigger challenges and enjoyed some achievements. Opportunities came on time just after the food park. I still have my day job and part time teaching. I know for sure that I will never live this life empty-handed, it’s otherwise, time and fate just make us let go of the things we have until we are almost empty, then it fills us with greater things. I recall that conversation with a former student, he was asking for philosophy books to deepen his knowledge. I told him, philosophy can be compared to cooks who learned how to cook good food and those who went through culinary schools. It’s just about good food. Whether you did some schooling or not, it’s just good food enjoyed by the people whom you’ve cooked for. Philosophers are made not because of the books, but how well one grasps life’s lessons and learns from them. Not how old the person is, but how fruitful our years are. So here’s to 2018 and the year ahead, 2019, it will surely be full of adventures. Cheers!

My Place on Airbnb

Cozy Rooms at The Urban Garden

Naga, Bicol, Philippines

If you happen to visit Naga City, Bicol here in the Philippines. My place is located at the heart of the City. The place offers an Urban Garden with a mini library. 10 min. ride from the bus terminal. Near Magsaysay Avenue, the City's food strip. It's the perfect place for...

Vacation Rentals in Naga

End the Year with Gratitude

So it is not happiness that makes us grateful. It's gratefulness that makes us happy. If you think it's happiness that makes you grateful, think again. It's gratefulness that makes you happy.

                                                                                                            - Bro. David Steinl-Rast

             I have to say that 2015 has been a great year for me. It’s a year of accomplishments and realizations, it made me taste what and how a really busy life goes.  It has taught me how to value my time more and value the people who really matter.  The year has been driven by tough decisions I had to make, life offers a lot options to choose from and it demands that we choose whatever is best. It’s never easy but there is always something to be thankful about.

            Gratitude, doesn’t end with what we have received and being thankful for them but being thankful and being ready to share what we have received to those in need. That is perhaps, as I see it, gratitude in its truest sense. So let me begin with my immediate family who have always showed deep concern and care for me. My parents and siblings were always ready to listen and talk to me about my plans and decisions I have to make. The guidance they have provided proved how strong the family supports each member. I have seen that support a lot of times and although they are always physically far from me, distance is not a limiting factor anymore because of technology.

            Let me express my gratitude to the people who have devoted, shared and even gave their time and effort in helping me during the times when I was trying to finish my Masters in the university. They are the professors and friends who have given their words of encouragement during the time when I was at the edge of making or not making it to this year’s graduation rites. I’ve seen how things which have fallen apart fall into place.

            I’d like to give my appreciation and gratitude to my former students who have now become part of a team (Arboists) working with me. It is that time when I am aware I cannot do all things alone, your assistance have contributed a lot and I look forward to working with you more in the coming years.  

            I am definitely grateful for my friends and colleagues, for making work a little easier to carry, work is more meaningful when it is done and spent with you. The organization is not perfect but our awareness that it is not, makes us grow.

            I am very thankful for the miracles this year! Strangers who have helped me when I literally fell off my motorbike, planned and unexpected visits from friends, people who offered help and accommodation during my visit to different places, new friends I gained in my trips, making it through life’s problems and finding the courage to pray. It is true. It is all in His grace. An Saiyang padagos na pagcamoot satuya! With these, I'd like to say I am ready to meet 2016, begin the year also with gratefulness and whatever it brings I am quite sure there's always a reason to be thankful!

               Happy and Peaceful New Year to All! 

"Thoughts" After Seven Years

           This is my first post after almost two years of unplanned dormancy. I'm still alive and kicking! I just did not have enough time to devote to philosophizing and writing them in this blog. The offline world had been very demanding and it seems easier to post on the social networking site called Facebook.
I am currently maximizing my vacation here in Laguna and just randomly checked this blog to see how it is doing. Looking at the stats, it had 331 page views last month. Not bad. So here's a new post to celebrate my seven-year old "Thoughts'. The idea of creating this blog came from Blaise Pascal's "Pensees" centered on his perspective of man's nature/condition and his concept of 'the heart' or 'coeur' as the center of our very being. Starting with a very philosophical-sounding blog, it has evolved to a blog of reflections, life experiences and lessons. The transformation made it closer to the real essence of philosophy:experience life, reflect and learn from the experience. If philosophy is love of wisdom, wisdom is, as others have defined it, simply the right use of knowledge.
The writer is seven years older too and it's not just this blog, and the past seven years I have to say were years filled with challenges and blessings for which I am very thankful. I have to say that life has been very fair to me. The opportunities it has brought me and the people I've met have been very helpful in attaining growth. The capacity to make important decisions have become stronger as time passed. The most important lesson I gained so far brought about by life's blessings and even obstacles is to take advantage of every opportunity to be grateful. Gratitude leads to contentment. Gratitude gives a clear idea that not much is required in experiencing happiness. For the past two years I have constantly reflected on the value of being thankful, and these reflections have been fruitful since I started to appreciate what I have and whatever comes.When I practice gratitude slowly, slowly I get to see and sometimes experience can experience life's daily miracles. The celebration of life continues to be the focus of this blog. As it matures, as it attains Pascal's idea of "the heart" I hope to publish this someday. I tried to make a book three years ago by printing it, produced very limited copies and gave my personal copy as a gift to a good friend.
Let me take this opportunity to thank you my dear readers, for your time and for sharing this blog to other people. I am looking at the possibility of writing more often and of course hearing from you.

writing...again

Indeed it has been a while but this year will not pass without writing an entry in this almost-forgotten blog. So while time is permitting me to write I would like to focus on certain realizations and observations from an experiential perspective, the way I see them, you may or may not agree but this is the very purpose of writing and reading, to stir up a bit our thoughts.

Let me begin with August, known as the leanest month in the Philippines (I do not know with other countries but the Chinese calls this as Ghost month, they believe it's not good to open a business during this time),  it's the time of year when people experience temporary slowdown brought about by budget exhaustion. People complain that they lack money during this period and as a response they tighten their belts and shift to economic thrift. This has been the case since I started working in 2005 and I am not sure if they have done something about this recurring matter, at least save some amount before this lean month comes? We have to learn from the things we already know and has been happening since time immemorial. When we know how to set aside some amount, we will never worry about August anymore.

For the last five months I have been busy giving lectures to farmers in the different municipalities here in Bicol, it's a very good experience meeting them and getting a glimpse of where they are considering their level of living. I have observed that if you really want to reach out to them and if you want to catch their attention, you have to do away with technical jargon and that you should have the ability to inject humor in your lectures without sacrificing the learning experience. I also got the opportunity to visit places in Camarines Sur I have never been to, cultural diversity even within the province can be clearly seen and it's one learning experience for me. Another realization would be that no matter how effective you are it all boils down to their attitude, how they will respond will mainly depend on the very desire to help themselves. I strongly agree with the farmers who believe that it's not just the government's job to improve their lives. I hope they can apply what they have learned from the lectures.

Since November last year I started teaching part-time at a new university here in Naga without having to leave the other university where I have worked also as a part-time instructor since November 2009, add to this my day job as an Agricultural Technician at the City Agriculture Office of Naga. I got the three jobs I have long planned to get since 2008 when I returned to Naga City. I am very thankful for having been given these opportunities, I do not intend to boast but in the three jobs I experience sense of self worth, people value what I am doing. One limitation of having three jobs is the fact that conflicting schedules often occur and the quality of work is clearly affected, after reflecting a bit, I may need to gradually let go of the part-time jobs and focus more on my job with LGU Naga City before I reach that point where I am doing a lot of things and yet accomplish so little. It is true that in making our lives busy, the most essential things may be overlooked or even ignored along the way.

So much for the updates, life seems to give balance in everything I do. It makes a lot of sense if we know how to manage our time. We cannot really do everything we want to do, we can only choose what needs more of our time. For now I have to focus on what really matters and what is here and now.

expergiscere anima

It has been a while indeed. I have been really busy with things offline and facebook has devoured much of my time, reading trivial things and virtual whines. The day usually ends with great resolve that I will spend less time on facebook, spend less time "liking" things of sorts. The other day, I deactivated my facebook account, I have noticed that nothing really changed only that I have more time for offline reality than online "reality". If I have to personally sort posted items and make some statistics, I'd say only 20% are worth one's time. The remaining 80% is just as good as unpolished data. The power of virtual gossip entices almost everyone. 

Happiness is a well deserved siesta on a Sunday. I would like to reflect on the value of work and how it makes an impact to one's self and the society. For being a part-time instructor, I am surprised I have stayed for almost three years now. For people who easily get bored with routinary tasks, three years is already substantial. Teaching is different, the thrill lies in the fact that you never get to measure the teacher's influence until the students mature (or not).  As an  agricultural technician  for more than a year, I get the chance to work with real farmers and somehow grow real crops unlike in farmville where you can harvest what you planted after a few hours. Agriculture is not easy, but it literally and figuratively bears much fruit when one has learned how to adjust with nature and one has learned great lessons from past farm experiences. 

Slowly, slowly. For the past years, I am not surprised when a "long lost" friend suddenly finds a way to contact you and gives you a somehow prophetic message that you can grow rich. Yes! I'm referring to Networking. It all starts with the "get-in-touch" scheme, reviving dead ties and exhausting every available opportunity. Everybody needs a downline. They should make things clear and straightforward. It should sound like: "I'm trying to convince you because I badly need a downline!" Just last week I was talking to some of my friends and told them "There's nothing like good old hardwork." I do not have anything against networking or people becoming rich but they always fail to show during presentations that people who have climbed to the top of the ladder have worked hard. There are no clean shortcuts to becoming rich, I believe it's always rough, one can opt to do things the easy but evil way but it's never sustainable, psychologically or spiritually.

Dormancy with sense. It is not that I have nothing to write that this blog has been inactive, a lot of great things are happening each day, it's always awe one can experience when we see the daily miracles of life. I have my share of daily problems but it does not make sense if I write about them. We're all equal when it comes to the weight we have to carry. I have to agree with what a saint said though not the exact wordings, "It's a great cross when one has no cross at all."

Sensus Communis

Still late. I started the first day of work being late by twenty four minutes and they say, how you start your year will be how your year will be. The government’s bundy clock is quite efficient when it comes to tardiness. I started with twenty four, next day was sixteen minutes, then eight, the last day of the week I was three minutes close to being on time but still late. What is quite interesting is that it only takes about three minutes to go to the office from my place.  Yesterday was Monday, I did resolve the day before that I’ll be on the dot, but eleven minutes waited for me to be late. Today I woke up forty five minutes earlier than usual, but so much for hoping and trying, I arrived two minutes late. Quite close but still late. I hope I’ll arrive on time tomorrow.

Now on to other matters, before our Christmas vacation in the university, my students took their Midterm exam in advance. It’s supposed to be on the 18^th to 20^th of this month but we were ahead of time with our lectures. I checked the papers during the break and I am a bit disappointed with the results. I definitely made the exam easier than the previous ones but it did not show substantial difference compared to giving difficult exams. The exam was analytical, as expected from the nature of economics. Some of the questions were too logical but they did not get the right answer, multiple choice resulting to multiple errors.  It is perhaps because my students did not or they do not really study. I don’t get the idea that they were expecting to pass without even studying. How is that possible? One of my students was even skeptical with her score that we had to go over all the test questions to prove that she deserved what she got. She told me that she studied before the exam and that she does not deserve to fail. I just told her, "Then study harder. That's what you should do for the finals."  There is indeed a big difference between knowing and understanding. Mere knowledge would not suffice, it's simply not what you know but how you understand the concepts--this is what education is all about.

Voltaire was right when he said common sense is not so common. It's clearly becoming a "copy and paste" culture. Thinking is almost optional. We are surrounded with ready information we do not have time to digest them. The information we get from television and the internet may keep us updated but may be a reason for us to become lax. It's also a culture of "Like" and "Statuses" when we try to draw the attention of other people. Even a culture of  "unfriend" or remove from friend's list and "unlike" which is another term for correcting what has been liked earlier but soon realized that it should not have been liked in the first place. These may be simple actions in the virtual world, but they create a big gap as to how people should communicate. Some of my students do not talk at all but they are quite loud online. They don't talk when they're in the offline world but they are noisy online. So the question perhaps is, how often do you use your brain? If you use it everyday, then that's good. If you have not been using it for more than a week now, do something...think perhaps?

Felix Sit Annus Novus!

"It is important to always go back and reflect on what we are celebrating. The first Christmas passed in the most humble and simple way. Christmas should be more than the garb and lavish merriment. In its truest sense, Christmas comes in small things. It is the time when we see the child in each of us. If we want to really experience what this season is all about, we should have the ability to feel joy and awe like a child hastily opening a present."

I wrote this when I was asked to share a one-minute introduction as part of the faculty presentation for this year's university Christmas party. You might ask, isn't this what you have always been reflecting on for more than 10 years? It's quite true but Christmas can never be trite. It's something we never get tired of celebrating it for we the chance to be child-like again. Child-like, as it has always been explained is entirely different from being childish. Adults, as far as I'm aware can never get back and have that innocence we see in infants. Even a time machine cannot do this particular job. So what does it mean to be child-like? It simply means being happy without being too rational or without being rational at all. When a child is given a present, the child would simply smile and feel excited. The awe which we do not see often from adults.

Another year is about to end, it has been a very productive year for me. Just last April I took a job offer to be an agricultural technician under the Local Government Unit in my place, I still teach at the university at night. In addition, this is my second year taking master’s, I hope to finish it within a year. Working for the government has made me complain less about how the whole system works. There are still people who believe in transparency and good governance. I'm beginning to understand what public service really means. It's quite true that those who complain a lot are those who do not really act or those who do not contribute to the solution which the system badly needs.

So a good point for reflection, did I devote a lot of time complaining about how things are going? I'm not just referring to what the government is doing but also to our personal situation. How we attain our goals and how we react to unexpected changes. 


This year can also be seen in terms of beginnings and endings. Has it been a chaotic year? If yes, then there is a great need to organize our lives. If we're fond of planning our lives, we need to sort things out. First we need to identify what causes chaos, in most cases, it's poor time management. I have to admit that I encountered this problem quite often this year. I tried to do a little troubleshooting and just found out that accumulated time (summation) just to click that famous "LIKE" button is possibly equal to time devoted to work or even time to organize one's schedule. Managing time still consumes a certain amount of time. There is no such activity that does not consume time. If we believe that time is money, as I always remind my students, dreaming cannot be free at all ("hindi libre ang mangarap").


About two years ago, I wrote an entry entitled, "On Gratitude", the reflection is quite relevant, the best way to end this year and begin with the next is to have a grateful disposition. The nature of gratitude is that it makes us rejoice in the things we have or have received, it does not focus much on what we do not have. It makes a big difference if we live in constant gratitude. It is a way to live, not just the right response for what we receive. There is happiness in contentment brought about by gratitude.


Thank you! Here's to a Happy and Prosperous New Year!

what is...is

It is an hypothesis that the sun will rise tomorrow: and this means that we do not know whether it will rise. - Ludwig Wittgenstein 

it was a thursday when i attended a seminar on abaca (Musa textilis) production. i was not too interested since abaca has been there for quite some time and i do not see any substantial effect on the lives of abaca planters. but there were about thirty who attended that event. it was when i tried to listen to the second topic, about abaca morphology, a farmer asked the resource person: "tano po arog cayan ang dahon can abaca?" ("why are abaca leaves like that?-referring to the morphological appearance of the leaves") , with wit the speaker quickly replied, "ah, iyo man po siguro yan an gusto can mahal na Dios." ("ah, maybe that's how our loving God wants it to be.").
the same farmer asked another question: "ang pisog po can abaca nagtutubo man?" ("do abaca seeds grow if we plant them?"). the speaker simply replied, "pag dai po yan nagadan, matubo yan" ("if the seeds do not die, they will grow"). everybody laughed while the farmer just smiled and scratched his head.probably disappointed but the answers were quite 'right' and obvious.
humorous it may be, it's a story we can all learn from. old farmers are quick-witted that they can really be sarcastic, they've been  through a lot and perhaps have learned to submit to the laws of nature. simply put, some things are just beyond their control.there is wisdom in their indifference.uncertainty abounds but if you ask them why they still continue to plant their crops, they would tell you, they won't have anything to do anymore.

Life by Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.


Mother Teresa

Pensees No. 143

We are full of things that impel us outwards. Our instinct makes us feel that our happiness must be sought outside ourselves. Our passions drive us outwards, even without objects to excite them. External objects tempt us in themselves and entice us even when we do not think about them. Thus it is no good philosophers telling us:

Withdraw into yourselves and there you will find your good. We do not believe them, and those

who believe them are the most empty and silly of all.

                                                  - Blaise Pascal, Pensees No. 143


What's new about SONA? They did not burn the effigy. That's what is different about it. Perhaps there's much hope as if to say, "let him prove himself as our leader". So some would just choose to watch first before they say anything and I think it's the wise thing to do... for now. It's too early to claim national transformation. The government today has become a huge auditor of the previous administration's expenses. The previous government's stench is what gives the current government its very "strength". Say something bad about the previous government and your image will look great.Just great.
The question now, is the current government moving towards real change or is it merely creating an illusion of change?


As I watched them answer their midterm exam, one of my students was busy tinkering his calculator with such certainty, really focused on solving the problem I gave. I found the sight interesting, I thought he probably knows how to solve it, i can even hear the sound of the calculator buttons/pad from where i stood. Several minutes after I announced that they can start submitting their test papers, the student stood up to submit his paper. As I was really interested, I hurriedly checked the part where they should answer the problem to see if he got the answers right...and I was amazed too see a blank paper. What was that student solving when I saw him seriously manipulating his computing machine? He may have tried or he thought "i'm supposed to be seen answering the problem but i don't know how so i'll just pretend that i'm using my calculator". Strange. Really strange.

what we are not

earlier today, i rode the bus going to the university where i work at. i was looking at my watch every now and then, probably because i was running late. the trip is also the time when i gather my thoughts for the day's activities, preparing what approach i would use for the lectures.
i had a seven a.m. class. just ten minutes before seven, a girl about eleven or twelve of age sat beside me, she was also on her way to attend school based on the fact that she was wearing a school's uniform. before she sat she patted my shoulders signaling me to move a bit. i was a bit busy with thinking how my day would go. i looked at her and moved to give her some space so she could sit. while seated, i noticed she tried to look at me for several seconds and tried to look at the other direction. she was probably observing. after some seconds of silence, probably thinking if she should speak or not, she looked at me and ask in a very gentle and innocent tone: "padi ca po?"(are you a priest?). a question which i didn't really expect.
i did not have a ready answer so in silence i slightly turned my head from side to side to mean no. i did not see her reaction. after a few minutes she went ahead to attend school. while on the bus i contemplated on what could have made that girl ask that kind of question?

last sunday's sermon is somehow related to what had happened this morning. the celebrant talked about the real essence of a human being by discussing what man is not. he mentioned three important things that we are not supposed to identify ourselves with.
the first is that we are not what we own. we are not what we have. it is wrong to identify ourselves with our possessions or properties clearly because the essence of man is not only limited to tangible things.
secondly, we are not what other people say. the point here is to look at how we are living our lives, are we slaves of good reputation? do we always please people by acting according to what they want? again, the real self is not dependent on how other people see us and what they say about us. it's something more than that.
third, we are not what we can do. it is not right to equate ourselves with our talents, our job and even our achievements. there certainly is something more than the things we can do.

is it already clear to us that we are not to identify ourselves with the three things?
are we fond of looking at the things we have and boast about them? do we always pattern our lives to the notion that other people should see us untarnished? do we tend to please other people more often, to the point of false humility? do we claim that we are what we do? that the self is no different from our work or our talents? do we limit ourselves to these things?
half of the year is over but it's never too late to rethink the way we see life. the way we value ourselves. the things we identify ourselves with. we have to be aware of one simple fact: that we human beings were certainly made for greater things.

kairos*

Let me start today's reflection with a short story about two monks and a lady, here it is:

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her.

The senior monk carried this woman on his shoulder, forded the river and let her down on the other bank. The junior monk was very upset, but said nothing.

They both were walking and the senior monk noticed that his junior was suddenly silent and inquired "Is something the matter, you seem very upset?"

The junior monk replied, "As monks, we are not permitted to touch a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?"

The senior monk replied, "I left the woman a long time ago at the bank, however, you seem to be carrying her still."

reflection:

several minutes ago i turned our calendar to what month it's supposed to be, half of the year has ended, i'd say very quickly. in about four or five months we will start worrying about the holidays. more than two weeks ago i went to an island called maculabo, i still  don't know the origin of the name but it sure was a great place. the trip was something "unplanned",  because it only took us less than thirty minutes to decide that we definitely have to go there.  aside from the beautiful beach, beautiful means white sand and azure waters in this case, we also trekked to see the rock formation on the other side of the island. it reminded me of the photos i've seen of batanes, windy grasslands and cliffs and the vast sea. i also had a chance to gain new friends (see facebook). different walks of life. different motivations why they went to the place. we drank cuatro cantos (ginebra san miguel),  and ate really good food except for the grilled liempo which was tough. i had a hard time chewing the meat.  i got to experience stillness in the middle of a mild storm inside a tent, which was dripping along with the rains. it wasn't waterproof, we just found out that night and accepted the hard fact that it just wasn't waterproof.

in about an hour i will be in front of my class and will start my lecture about the ten principles of economics by greg mankiw, an economist based in harvard. i will be talking to sophomore students, deciding what major to pursue, and i need to sound very convincing to entice them to take ageconomics as their major. talk about vested interests.

when asked what i am doing right now, i'd say i'm typing this while reflecting, and going back once in  a while to sip coffee. that's what i'm exactly doing right now, which in just a matter of milliseconds will become part of human history, part of the past. what's good about the future, i've heard, is that it's not here yet. what's good about the past, i'd say, is that it's not here anymore.
and the present? what can we say about the present? the present simply comes to pass in a matter of milliseconds.gone even before you think it is. so we never really own time. so we never really have the chance to hold on to our precious time. it's similar to writing about that island while i'm sitting inside my room.

sequential events. we look at the quantitative nature of time, for instance, how long it would take to write this without me being late for class. we look back and we look ahead. we are aware that it is finite. limited.

*the qualitative nature of time. definition

photo by ms. trish benitez

remembering blaise pascal

It was Blaise Pascal's 387th birthday last Saturday. His work Pensees is the inspiration of this blog. I encountered that book back when I was in high school. Until now, i still find time to read his brilliant piece of work. 

It created in me an awareness of the mystery of human life and even the existence of God, that in each of us- no matter how incomprehensible things are, there is this sanctuary inside where we can contemplate and reflect. 
Even if it has been more than 380 years, his writings on the nature of human life still applies.still observable.
Some things indeed never change. Here's to inconstancy, boredom, and anxiety.

on humor

Brother John entered the "Monastery of Silence" and the Abbott said,"Brother, this is a silent monastery; you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."

Brother John lived in the monastery for five years before the Abbott said to him, "Brother John, you have been here five years now; you may speak two words."

Brother John said, "Hard bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbot said. "We will get you a better bed."

After another five years, Brother John was called by the Abbott. "You may say another two words, Brother John."

"Cold food," said Brother John, and the Abbott assured him that the food would be better in the future.

On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again call Brother John into his office. "Two words you may say today."

"I quit," said Brother John.

"It is probably best, you've done nothing but complain since you got here." *




let's leave politics to the politicians for now. we're still in that stage of being hopeful mixed with a certain degree of apathy. we are somehow hopeful that the new president will do something new or something redemptive and we are somehow apathetic since we tend to go back to that basic question, "what's new?" politics has always been and will always be dirty.

now on to that serious matter, i have been reflecting on how this blog has progressed or developed in terms of maturity and depth. i noticed that the flow has been that of a serious tone, an inclination to sound absolute given the inconsistencies of life. some entries have made me and the readers laugh, probably about ten percent of the whole blog. yes, i'm talking about humor or simply the ability to laugh. let's ask ourselves one basic question: when was the last time i really had a good laugh? if your answer goes like "i can't remember" or "it's been about a year" and you're asking why all things are going wrong and life has become chaotic. then you may be taking things too seriously or you just don't have any clear reason as to why you should laugh.

the word "life" is not and will never be synonymous to the word "problem". try to remember the time when you laughed, it simply made things light. it's quite clear that it's not the problems that come, they're part of the package for as long as we are alive, it's how we deal with them. cheerfulness is one way of coping with life's ups and downs. i seldom meet cheerful people, they sure have their own share of problems but they know how to handle them.

so laugh when there's an opportunity to do so. what's good about laughter is that there's no rule as to how you should do it. it comes naturally and with such spontaneity. there's no such thing as a bad laugh. be it the basic "hahaha" or simple "hehe". we should, however, be aware of the things we laugh at. it shouldn't be something out of sarcasm, bad jokes and even the misfortune of other people. the intention should be clean, it shouldn't be a cause of insult. other than the considerations mentioned, laughing is easy. it's never too late to laugh again.

one last thing, i have observed that laughter is contagious. i suggest that we start collecting humorous jokes and experiences. start sharing them. laughter is one of those contagious acts which makes other people feel well.


*from this site

ode to philippine poverty

yes, they all want to serve, them who are running for public office. and most of them are running in the name of poverty. the political ads of one presidential candidate, with that cheerful melody, tells us about the glory of poverty. the lyrics points to him as the one who is truly poor.
'mahirap'- poor.he was born poor.he was once poor, bathed in a sea of garbage, spent christmas in the streets.
another candidate is claiming that he also had his share of suffering, because he saw how his mom and dad suffered.'naghirap'-suffered.
lastly, we have a presidentiable who is 'para sa mahirap'- for the poor or pro-poor.

they are fighting against poverty.one is saying that if there's no corruption in the government no one will be poor.this is the same person who had been given a public position for more than ten years.the other one would like to eradicate poverty, given six years as the president of the country, how can he totally get rid of poverty? we're talking about millions of citizens here.
the question is, why only now? they were all there seated in the senate or congress and they've only thought of fighting poverty now.
it's funny, the elite trying to own or grab poverty itself.
they really want to own practically almost everything...even poverty!
now is the time to really think whom we should vote for.

it's certainly not the one who has highly praised poverty.
it's certainly not the one who's claiming he had his share of suffering.
it's the one who has served and continues to serve.
let's not just depend on conscience, today we have to be logical.
it's not much of what we feel, it's more of having a solid basis or reason why we should vote for our preferred candidates.

a parable on modern life

Here's something from Anthony de Mello's book "The Song of the Bird".

A Parable on Modern Life

The animals met in assembly and began to complain

that humans were always taking things from them.

"They take my milk," said the cow.

"They take my eggs," said the hen.

"They take my flesh for bacon," said the hog.

"They hunt me for my oil," said the whale.

Finally the snail spoke. "I have something they would

certainly take away from me if they could.

Something they want more than anything else.

I have TIME."

-You have all the time in the world, if you would give it to yourself.What's stopping you?

personal reflection:

what's stopping you? yes, it's also worth our time to reflect about TIME, it's one of the most important intangible elements in man's existence. so how do we spend our time?does it go to trivial things?or to where it's supposed to be spent?is it being consumed just to satisfy our personal interests?making money?does some of it go to the needy?the people who needs a bit of our time?or is it concentrated to fill our pleasure-seeking appetite?can we really claim for ourselves that we are using it wisely?or are we simply wasting it?it's very rare when we meet people saying they have so much time.it's always the case of 'i don't have enough time.' we can't add to what has been established as twenty four hours, we can't even deduct an hour or a minute from it. we simply have to sort things out. we have to identify what activities do not deserve our time, they are the so-called 'time-wasters'. i think everyone has them. we simply have to eliminate these time-wasters and devote that time to more productive things.

lastly, let us learn how to be more appreciative of this valuable

gift. time is actually how we often measure life.how we spend it can actually say something about what kind of people we are.

photo taken from this site

of accidents and gentle giants

inputs are welcome but my IT is absolute!-->first day
0900 - met Darwyn, Janice and Lee at Naga Van Terminal.left Naga for Legazpi City. we rode a van (150.00). we were supposed to meet at 8am but i arrived late because i had to attend an important event, which i personally understand to be a higher good.
1120 - Legazpi City Grand Terminal. there was a miscommunication as we were to meet Mel and Pompo in Daraga terminal. we just rode the van going to Pilar from the Grand Terminal, had two seats reserved and decided to pass by Daraga Terminal for Mel and Pompo. we also ate lunch before we went to Pilar.
1200 - van left bound to Pilar, Sorsogon (66.60). the two groups merged and discussed the miscommunication.I said I don't think the words 'shell' and 'church' were in the itinerary (and rechecking the itinerary after the trip, i was right).
1315 - arrived at Pilar Port (Sorsogon), the group asked around, we were after the fast craft which according to the schedule, left at twelve noon. we were just hopeful we could still catch that trip. given the situation, we decided to follow plan B, ride a snail vessel, in our case it was Gloria 10 which took three hours to reach our destination. after paying the terminal fee (5.00) the fare (200.00) we went to the boat.
1330 - travel to masbate.Gloria 10 had a capacity of 108 passengers, familiar sight was life vests tucked on the 'ceiling' and lots of pineapple at the back part. how did we spend the travel time? we played cards and took photos of the rock formation/islets (monreal island).some slept during the trip.
1630 - masbate port. we were in hurry since we were after the van trip to sha's place. we were informed that the trip actually stops at sun down (according to pompo). sounds really primitive but we were all looking at the sun. we rode the trike to the terminal and met joseph (sha's husband), good thing he was able to save some seats on the van. we left at 1700.


1700 - trip to cabitan. above is one of the photos i took while riding the van. the high speed ride and motion gave that surreal effect. this was taken at dusk.
1830 - arrived at cabitan, joseph was already there, he went ahead of us with his motorbike. we paid the fare (80.00) then rode the motorbike to sha's place (10.00)
1845 - after that long and winding trip, we finally arrived at sha's place,really cozy.after that warm welcome, she prepared dinner. we ate at 1930, the food was hearty just like how our host welcomed us. after dinner, we gathered for the reunion proper along with the videoke and the mixed brandy and iced tea drink. it was a recollection of old memories, about ten years ago there was our batch, jovellanos. 0130 - it was time for us to get some rest.


sh*t happens.-second day
0600 - with less than 5 hours of sleep, we woke up to prepare for the day's activities. ate breakfast and took a bath. sha told us that there was a bus bound for masbate city proper at 0700, we were waiting just outside the compound but no bus came. we decided to go directly to mandaon as it would mean longer waiting time if we decided to ride the van in cabitan. we rode the motorbike (40.00) and the travel time took almost thirty minutes.
0730 - left mandaon. van ride (100.00) took more than an hour before we arrived at the city proper. most of us slept during the trip to compensate for lack of it.
0905 - arrived at the van terminal and discussed the itinerary. there were three destinations that day. we omitted one (baleno)since we found out that it would consume a lot of time just going there. we decided to go to the nearest destination (buntod reef) and then mobo island at 1400 (later this would change due to some uncontrollable event). we've arranged the transpo for the afternoon event, rent a van to mobo.we rode the trike to barangay tugbo, place near buntod reef, we dropped by a certain resort and the drivers were informed to ask permission from the mayor of masbate. and so we went to the mayor to ask for his kind permission, the mayor told us 'you don't need any permit, it's open to the public'. we went back to barangay tugbo, the trike drivers looked for their banca (small about) operator contact residing somewhere along the road. after several minutes of negotiation we settled for a transpo fee of 600.00, back and forth.
1000 - left for buntod reef. it was a 15-minute boat ride.we didn't think much about the scorching heat of the sun as we were struck with awe.for me it was like calaguas the second time around. we took photos of the place. they swam. some parts were filled with mangroves.spent about two hours savoring nature.
1155 - on our way back to masbate proper, when our banca was just about five hundred meters before it reaches the shore, our puny banca capsized.caused by a big wave, an imbalance in the support and somehow my heavy weight. it happened so fast, all i can hear was janice shouting 'O! O! O!' and 'bag ko! bag ko!' (my bag! my bag!). luckily there was another banca passing by, signaled us that they'll come. when the banca was about to capsize, i already knew that it was certainly going to happen.my mind went blank when the banca capsized. i didn't know what to do. it was only after a few seconds when i realized that i was swimming to save my life. i tried to look for my bag, it wasn't there.maybe it sank. the functional banca brought us to a resort. there we stayed for a few hours to dry our things. after about thirty minutes, they retrieved the three missing bags. all soaked and drenched. yes. my cellphone expired because of that accident. i had it fixed but it's a hopeless case. while on the resort we had to share our personal experiences on what happened. we share the same thing: blank thoughts while the boat turned except for janice who was yelling because she was worried about her bag. we had a good laugh at what happened contrary to what we're supposed to feel as a normal reaction to what happened.
1540 - after drying our clothes and eating lunch with two bottles of my favorite cerveza we decided to cancel our mobo trip and left the resort to transfer to a hotel in the city proper. checked in at gv hotel (650.00 two heads/room, additional 250 for an extra bed. we occupied two rooms as there were six of us.
1630 - we prepared for a walk at the city proper, pompo decided to have his cellphone fixed, marilee and janice went to buy some clothes, mel, darwyn, and i joined pompo.we waited more than an hour only to know that they can't fix pompo's phone. after this frustrating realization, we tried to look for the souvenir shop selling cowboy hats, darwyn wanted to buy one. it took us about an hour before we found the place, and when we arrived the shop was already closed. most stores close at six in the evening.
1900 - ate dinner at odi's. we were all starving. we ordered bulalo and rice meals. pompo shouldered about seventy percent of the total expenses.too bad they didn't have my favorite cerveza.
2100 - went back to the hotel. i took a bath since the walk made me sweat a lot and the night was quite warm even with the airconditon on, probably because the walls absorbed some heat in the afternoon. we gathered at the girl's room since it was cool in there, we were able to do some post-event analysis/evaluation and came up with the resolution: texting while boating is really dangerous (from what janice experienced).
we also discussed the itinerary for the next day: wake up at three thirty in the morning because the fast craft to pilar leaves at four.
2200 - slept early because we were all somehow tired. paradise and accident all experienced within a day.



yudisota!-third day
0400 - it's clear that we did not wake up according to the itinerary, just packed our things and went to masbate port. the fast craft has already left. a coincidence maybe, Gloria 10 vessel (200.00) was there and would leave at six thirty, we ate our breakfast of goto with egg (rice porridge)(40.00, goto with egg is 30.00 and since we ate egg there was an additional 10.00-we were all confused) and waited at the boat.
0630 - boat left for pilar, sorsogon. stayed outside the boat to view the rock formation and talk to a masbateno who happens to be a social studies teacher. also watched some dolphins and flying fish. the weather was fair. i spent almost 3 hours just watching and reflecting a bit.
0930 - arrived at pilar port(5.00 terminal fee again). bought some lanzones (Lancium domesticum) from Camiguin (50.00), sweet, no doubt it's from Camiguin. we looked for the jeep bound to donsol and found it passing just in front of pilar church.
0945 - rode the jeep to donsol (15.00)
1030 - arrived at donsol, rode the trike (20.00) to barangay dancal.
1045 - registered at the municipal tourism office. registration is 100.00 and boat rate is 685.00 per head with an additional 250.00 if you'd opt to rent their flippers and mask.

1100 - met sir gerry, our guide and 'life saver' along with the spotter (spots the whale shark) and two banca operators. for two hours we spotted about five whale sharks. my first and second attempt to go after the whale shark failed. the second attempt made me tired, i was swimming towards our banca which was quite far, i gulped about a liter of seawater, and i signaled for help. sir gerry swam and saved me.thanks to him i'm still alive. i rested on the third and fourth sighting. the fifth attempt was successful, the whale shark was just below my feet when i watched, serenely swimming. that's where they got the 'gentle giants'. gigantic yet serene creatures.

1300 - went back to mainland donsol.took a bath. drank a bottle of cold cerveza and bought some souvenirs.a nice way to end whale shark watching.

1345 - rode the trike to giddy's, a resto which the trike driver recommended. again, we were all starving. i'd say the food was pricey but wasn't that good.

1445 - road trike to van terminal bound for legazpi (10.00). ate halo halo at the terminal since we were waiting for passengers to fill the van.

1530 - van trip to legazpi (60.00). as expected, we all slept during the trip.

1630 - arrived at legazpi grand terminal. rode the van bound to naga(150.00). yes, we slept again.pompo rode the van bound for nabua to attend to urgent family matters.

1900 - naga city proper.parted ways. all tired but all satisfied with the three-day event.

third and fourth photo from yudi mel's camera taken by myself and ironmark respectively

2010:no new year's resolution

the first two weeks of the year usually starts with that great struggle to implement whatever resolution one has come up. it usually doesn't work.the third week is the beginning of what the year really will be. we know the rewards of our resolution but we do not necessarily impose punishments if we're not able to effectively do them. i decided not to make a list of resolutions this year, i had a long list last year and didn't accomplish anything. for someone who was not born yesterday, someone who already has gray hair at twenty six and still counting, i believe it's wise not to make such a list especially if it's already quite clear that it won't work after the second week. it's the case of the more you want to get rid of something, say a habit, the more you think of it.and the more you think or even contemplate about it, the higher the chance of sliding back to zero. it's the familiar game called snakes and ladders, it's just that we don't use any dice to play life's game. there's certainly nothing wrong with deciding to change a bad habit and making resolutions to do so. but looking at the nature of resolutions, they talk more of what we're not supposed to do. they usually start with 'i won't' or 'i'll never do this or do that again'.it may be the very reason why it's difficult.it's not that i got tired or skeptical of making that list, the main basis is nothing has been accomplished since the time i decided to make yearly resolutions. i already know what needs to be changed and it's not easy. my approach this year would be that of not imposing too much pressure, changing a habit not by thinking that i'm not supposed to do it but observing.watching.and gradually understanding.this i learned from a book entitled 'awareness'.it claims that the trouble with people is that they're busy fixing things they don't even understand. change actually begins with understanding. my goal for this year is to change with/by understanding. how do i go about changing old habits? it's also in the book, 'when there's something within you that moves in the right direction, it creates its own discipline.'

on gratitude

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. - Albert Schweitzer

this year will not end without saying a word about gratitude. this is perhaps the best time to look back and reflect on the things we should be really thankful for. at the end of this entry, we should be able to answer these: "how grateful have i been?" and "how can i be more grateful?"

"give us this day our daily bread"...a line from the famous Christian prayer. we look at the fact that we have been provided with the daily necessities of life. from food to shelter. three meals a day and we never get hungry. our daily bread. 365 days of not lacking the basic necessities is one deep reason to be thankful. in reality, we have been given more than our daily bread, but most of us (this includes me) are still worried on how to have more. they say that human wants is insatiable, that we can never get contented once we have experienced a certain degree of satisfaction. we tend to want more and more of the things we believe could make us feel satisfied. from "give us this day our daily bread" to "just give me more bread". this is because we are not thankful for the things we already have or we have received, instead we focus on the things we don't have and how we can acquire them. we end up either temporarily satisfied or disappointed.

another reason to be thankful is that we were not created to live alone. we are surrounded by our loved ones, our friends, people who care for us. Albert Schweitzer, a philosopher and a theologian, has said it well, they are the people who provide the spark to rekindle our light whenever it goes out. they are those who console us in times of loneliness and despair, they are the people who are always willing to support and protect us whenever we feel weak. we know who they are and we know that they deserve our deep gratitude.

have we also been thankful for the 'not-so-good' things, the bad things, the trials and struggles of life?being thankful does not only include the good things but also things which may have caused suffering but have made us better people.