on receiving

do not forget to give. give until it hurts. but do not give all. leave something for yourself. this may sound selfish, but it should be clear to us that we cannot give what we do not have or if we do not have anything. i'm not just referring to material things, i'm also talking about intangible things like time, attention, love, etc. giving selflessly is the highest form of this act and this is something we all have to learn. giving selflessly is only possible when the act is done out of love.
it should be clear to us that things just doesn't end with giving. we also have to know how to receive. life is full of needs. sometimes we get what we need and sometimes we don't. not getting what we need is a cause of suffering, a situation we do not like. needing is a sign of our humanity, that we were not created to live alone. the same goes with suffering, we have to accept the fact that this is not an easy life.
receiving should come with a deep sense of gratitude...it should come with thankfulness. one can only be happy when one knows how to be truly thankful. yes, there's so much to be thankful for. they are not just the good things that happen to our lives but also the pains and hardships. from them we draw our sense of maturity, from them we learn how to trust Him more.

thoughts on giving

it was a thursday morning, riding the bus for work, the woman beside me pulled out the day's paper from her bag tried to look for a certain page. while she was doing this, the sports section fell.she then picked it up (she might have noticed i was staring at her) and gave that section to me and said, 'it's yours, i don't read sports'. i gave her a morning's smile. but i also don't read sports. i didn't want to show any sign of rejection. i forced myself to read sports. but it saved me almost an hour's worth of boredom.i thanked the woman before she went off the bus.
i don't intend to speak ill of the woman. what happened that morning made me ask myself, do i also know how to give? if i do, what do i usually give? and why do i give? this reflection reminds me of a priest saying in his homily, 'giving has to hurt for it to be really giving'. those words struck me. it somehow changed how and why i give. before, it was all about the things i would get in return after giving. looking at it, expecting something in return alters the real meaning of the act. it becomes trading. 'give me that before i give you this' or 'i'll give you this but you also have to give that to me'. this was how it worked. it was like investing on something and 'gaining' profit from it. it didn't do good at all. i always ended up being disappointed for not getting what i expected.
it takes time to learn how to truly give. giving without thinking about the benefits. without thinking about ourselves. giving until it hurts.

in the absence of internet

our inflation rate is 11.4%, the highest since May 1994 and it's something we can experience everyday. soaring prices of commodities and weakening purchasing power. prices dictate how and what we buy. knowing the difference between what is a necessity and what is luxury could help. i do not want to discuss this matter further as we may just end up claiming that we are becoming poor and that money could redeem us.
you may have noticed that it has been more than a month since i posted an entry. the reason for this is that i do not have access to the internet. the negative effect of resigning from a company which provides laptop you can bring home and use for other purposes aside from work. before i gave the laptop back, i was really worried how it could affect my life. life in the absence of internet could be tormenting, but it isn't. the only difference is i'm beginning to write again, literally speaking, i.e. using pen and paper. a 'downgrade' as my aunt said. my reflections are again written on paper. and i would post some here if i get the chance to have access.
i got a new job and i'm still adjusting to the new environment. to date i have had 4 jobs. starting as an agricultural technician or more of a farmer in nueva ecija, a call center agent, an english teacher for koreans, a consultant, and now an analyst. i don't know what's next. it has been a very good adventure. i sound like i'm going to die. who knows when anyway?
last sunday my best friend and i attended mass in diliman, it was our first time there. the priest was full of enthusiasm, it was as if it was his last mass, he's probably in his thirties. giving all the energy and life. and that convinced me. when he gave his homily, it was not to convince the people but to appear as a witness. i wish i could also have that enthusiasm. may we have the eyes and ears to see how each day is different from the other and that there is no reason as to why we should be bored. even boredom brings something new if we try to reflect about it.