a blind man's cloak

it's a sunny but windy afternoon here in my place, reminds me of summer only that it's happening on an October day. talk about erratic weather brought about by climate change. i just finished watering the plants, some of them withered because of the heat and the wind. humidity isn't that high the fact that the soil dries up quickly. siesta's perhaps the most appropriate thing to do but the weather's just perfect for an afternoon reflection.

about two weeks ago, one of the books i'm reading entitled 'Reflections on Augustine's Search for God' talked about blindness in the second chapter, it says there that Augustine 'believed that sight was the most precious sense power that we humans possess.... better by far to be poor and seeing than to be rich and blind'. just imagine living without our sense of sight, complete darkness, we only get to hear what other people see without us truly understanding what they are saying. i remember last month, my grandma organized and went on a field trip for the differently-abled people including the blind to legazpi, albay. i asked her, with that familiar skeptical tone, how would the blind appreciate the majestic mayon volcano? how do you explain the almost perfect cone shape of the volcano? she replied, 'they just know.'

last Sunday's gospel was Mark 10:46-52, a clear coincidence that this was also discussed in the second chapter of the book i mentioned earlier, it's about a blind man named Bartimaeus (literally means 'Son of Timaeus'). he is actually one of my favorite biblical characters, he was one of those who did not give up hope, who showed so much faith in the Master and because of that, he regained his sight.

since Bartimaeus was blind, he had to beg for a living. blindness and poverty. i would've given up hope if i were him. the priest, in his homily last sunday, focused on the significance of Bartimaeus' cloak, the only possession he had. saving him from the day's heat and his source of warmth during cold nights. the cloak is similar to our so-called security blankets as the priest said. these are the things or persons which we believe are the source of our sense of security, that is, we feel secured in their presence or when we have them. it could go from the literal sense like a child's security blanket he likes a lot he can't just sleep without it or to 'greater' things like possession of wealth or power. some are at the point of worshipping these things, they have become their idols in other words. the very hindrance in seeing the Truth. the priest continued his homily by asking, 'what makes us feel secured? is it money? is it power?'

clearly these things just come and go, fleeting so they say. everything temporary.

there is certainly nothing wrong in trying to attain that sense or feeling of being secured but we have to know who or what is it that we depend on. would they last? or would they just make us idolatrous?

what Bartimaeus did teaches us a great lesson on what should really be the source of our sense of security. security is something more than the possession of great wealth or power, for we could still grow unhappy and be full of discontentment even in the presence of these things.

Bartimaeus, after hearing the commotion and after he found out that the Master was passing by, throws off his cloak, rose up and approached the Master. In the Old Testament, as the priest mentioned, throwing off one's cloak is to let go or to cast off an old way of life and embrace a new way of life. He didn't need his cloak, his only possession, for he has found his true source of security.

on idle words

i got this from a book entitled 'the spiritual exercises of st. ignatius' which i bought almost two weeks ago. though it's a spiritual reading the practical side of it is very useful in day to day living especially in a world dictated by words and noise. here it is:

'no idle word should be uttered. i understand a word to be idle when it serves no good purpose, either for myself or for another, and was not intended to do so. hence, words are never idle when spoken for any useful purpose, or when meant to serve the good of one's own soul or that of another, of the body or of temporal possessions. nor are they idle because one speaks of matters

that do not pertain to his state, for example, if a religious speaks of wars or of commerce. in all we have mentioned, there will be merit if what is said is directed to some good purpose; there will be sin if it is directed to an evil purpose, or if engaged in for no good end. '

an Deus sit?

this photo was taken circa 2008 somewhere in pasig. it tends to answer the old latin question from St. Thomas Aquinas' 'Summa Theologiae', 'an Deus sit?' which literally means 'is there a God?'. we reflect on what could have made that person write it on the wall. was the person an atheist? the first thing i could think of is that the person would like to say something definite, 'there is no God' in the absence of proofs. the same way when someone expresses an emotion. it's simply, as i see it, what the person feels. goodness is something attributed to God, maybe the person doesn't experience goodness so he/she concludes that there is no God. the person may have so many doubts or unanswered questions or is going through a lot of sufferings and goes by dismissing the notion that God does not exist. it is somehow easier to prove that He does not exist than disproving that He does.

let's not go very far to explain this, Ondoy(Ketsana) victims would very well explain what i'm saying. the floods didn't filter those who are innocent from those who are not. it simply passed, not having any notion of who's good or who's evil. and for those who have obeyed or even religiously followed God, they only have one question, 'what did we do to deserve this?'

it's not really easy to believe in God, first of the reasons why is that we cannot see God. we call it 'faith' when we believe in the 'unseen' existence of God, His invisibility. second reason is, there is so much evil in the world, most of them uncontrollable and if they are controllable they still continue to happen. it makes me think that some people derive great pleasure from doing these things. it's difficult to think of God in the midst of injustice or if we think of God all we can do is blame Him for allowing us to suffer.

going back to what that calamity has brought us, did it really come from God? or was it simply caused by urbanization? God surely did not cut those trees that were there before villages or subdivisions were established. we're simply beginning to reap the consequences of what we've sown. this answers the question, 'what did we do to deserve this?' and God isn't much of a factor so as to cause that calamity.

my uncle's house in pasig was submerged in flood of about 6 feet when Ketsana passed by. i wasn't there when it happened but my housemates were there, my best friend was there, some of my things were there. i only got to visit the place after four days. ghastly. that's the more appropriate word to describe what i saw while i was on my way to our place, the thick mud the flood left, the stench of rotten rice, piles of garbage, and hopelessness felt looking at the people trying to recover what can still be saved. when i arrived at the house, a pile of trash outside greeted me, what caught my attention a guitar, only the front part was there lying on top of the trash. 'things fall apart' is the title of a book i've read back in college and it best describes the whole scenario just looking at that hopeless muddy body and the broken strings of the guitar. i went inside the house and just near the main door were some of my things, papers, books, rare cd's, clothes, etc. i didn't get a clear picture of what really happened and how it looked like until i saw the place myself. they even told me that it was cleaner than the first day they transferred to the house. they actually evacuated to our neighbor's house which was two-storey, ours is a bungalow. it was difficult to accept the mess the calamity created. it was a mixture of awe and frustration. but compared to what they've been through, those who were there to meet the floods and save themselves, starved for two days, waited...what i was feeling was nothing compared to what they've suffered. looking at what they have experienced,what is clear to me is that if you're given that situation, that calamity, what you'll actually save first, is yourself and some food to keep you going for days, and the remaining valuables you can carry and you find necessary. it certainly wouldn't be a grand piano, except if one is given the luxury of time.

what is also clear to me and this also serves as a lesson, is that we only begin to see who are those we can really depend on in times of need and that we become more aware of what really matters in life. it's certainly not the things we own which has accumulated for years, not our properties, and not even the precious things we have kept safe or even secured. we begin to see our true value when things fall apart.

we continue to pray for the victims of Ondoy (Ketsana) and Pepeng (Parma). we pray for those who are in great need. for those who have died because of the said calamities. our prayers may be the most effective way of reaching out to them even if we don't have the material means to help them.

photo: red candles from my aunt ina