the first two weeks of the year usually starts with that great struggle to implement whatever resolution one has come up. it usually doesn't work.the third week is the beginning of what the year really will be. we know the rewards of our resolution but we do not necessarily impose punishments if we're not able to effectively do them. i decided not to make a list of resolutions this year, i had a long list last year and didn't accomplish anything. for someone who was not born yesterday, someone who already has gray hair at twenty six and still counting, i believe it's wise not to make such a list especially if it's already quite clear that it won't work after the second week. it's the case of the more you want to get rid of something, say a habit, the more you think of it.and the more you think or even contemplate about it, the higher the chance of sliding back to zero. it's the familiar game called snakes and ladders, it's just that we don't use any dice to play life's game. there's certainly nothing wrong with deciding to change a bad habit and making resolutions to do so. but looking at the nature of resolutions, they talk more of what we're not supposed to do. they usually start with 'i won't' or 'i'll never do this or do that again'.it may be the very reason why it's difficult.it's not that i got tired or skeptical of making that list, the main basis is nothing has been accomplished since the time i decided to make yearly resolutions. i already know what needs to be changed and it's not easy. my approach this year would be that of not imposing too much pressure, changing a habit not by thinking that i'm not supposed to do it but observing.watching.and gradually understanding.this i learned from a book entitled 'awareness'.it claims that the trouble with people is that they're busy fixing things they don't even understand. change actually begins with understanding. my goal for this year is to change with/by understanding. how do i go about changing old habits? it's also in the book, 'when there's something within you that moves in the right direction, it creates its own discipline.'
